Two Time World Champion: Breesus King of the Drews

Buddy Breesus*

With two score cards that neither coach will be happy with, Breesus King of the Drews held on long enough to beat Zim's Doomydooms by 10 points, win the 2014 VP3 Championship Game and become the two-time VP3 World Champion. I can hear Queen pounding out the victory song, the streamers in the air, the happy coach accepting the trophy. This is the pinnacle of fantasy sports.

Congratulations from all of us at VP3.

I won't dissect the game except to say that a long conversation was held Sunday night regarding playing either the Bills or Seahawks defence, and Zim picked the Bills. Play the 'Hawks and the game goes the other way. Or would it?

If Zim had played the Seahawks maybe they would have sucked and the Cardinals beaten them. Maybe Zim's loss has propelled the Seattle Seahawks into the Playoffs. If that is true, has Breesus victory come at the price of the New Orleans Saints losing out and missing the Playoffs? Is the Saints losing season all Breesus fault through some crazy fantasy-butterfly effect? In the opinion of this humble scribe - it is.

In other games, Agent P was able to turn the tables on last years game and beat Doof. Agent P (re)claims third spot and Doof sits at four. The Lighties claim the win over the General (who will be glad to see the end of the 2014 season), and Bradylessbrothers had a solid win over Endless.




* Given Drew Brees terrible performance on the weekend and the Saints not even making the play-offs it felt wrong using Brees to celebrate this year. Instead, Buddy Christ!

2014 Championship Game: match-up

Here we are, after fifteen short and long weeks of ups and downs, this is moment ten coaches started playing for and only two get to enjoy:

Breesus King of the Drews (131) vs Zim's Doomydooms (132)

Look at those projections!

We know the story, a looong winning streak by Breesus that was stopped by Zim, handing him his first loss of the season and one of only two all year. Zim topped most points for the season, over Breesus, by a handful of points. Zim lost a couple of games more than Breesus, but still won a couple more than Agent P for outright second place.

It's Murrary v Lynch. Nelson v Beckham. Tate v Cobb. Gronk v Olsen. Maclin v Edelamn. The match-ups are ideal. Breesus has the clear advantage at QB, though, with perennial star Drew Brees. But Zim has stuck with Alex Smith all year and he has turned out solid performances. On average, Brees will put up 20 and Smith 15. Is this the key match-up?

Lynch is playing the Cardinal defence, no easy points. The rest of Zim's player amtch-ups look favourable, Gronk v Jets, Tate v Bears, Ingram v Falcons, Maclin v Redskins.

For Breesus, Brees v Falcons is good, so is Cobb v Bucs and Edelman v Jets. But Murrary v Colts is tough, add to that a broken hand, Mason v Rams and Beckhman v Rams are all tough assignments.

Love the match-ups, love that its the two most consistent teams all year facing off, can't wait to see how it plays out... can't believe Road to the Championship (tm) ended a week short...

Other games

Agent P and Doof face off for outright third place - same as they did a year ago. Doof took that game, maybe it's Agent P's turn? Not if my platypus trap has anything to do with it!

The General looks to finish with a win against the Lighties and take office bragging rights.

Endless and BB throw down in the final game. Both teams had ups and downs all year and both ended strongly.

A final check on how our infamous QBs have performed this year:

Luck: 336 (kept the General going but couldn't do it alone)
Rodgers: 314 (kept Doof going)
Manning: 291 (slowed down a lot in the last 3 games and killed the Lighties)
Wilson 282 (bench points for Doof)
Brees: 282 (always solid)
Roethlisberger: 276
Brady: 263 (bench points for the Lighties)
Tannehill: 236 (QB carousel for Marcy)
Rivers: 235 (up and down for Agent P led to a lack of trust)
Romo: 220
Newton: 206 (QB carousel for Marcy)
Smith: 206 (Zim shows that a top tier QB isn't the be all to end all... if you have two top tier RBs, TE, kicker and defence)
Kaepernick: 200 (hard to believe he scored less than Smith, Flacco and Eli)

Semi-Finals: Wash-up

Just when you think you have a handle on things Week 15 happens and completely blows your mind. The Cowboys trump the Eagles, the Seahawks dominate the 49ers, the Cardinals, playing with a million injuries, kill the Rams, Johhny Footbal is FAIL (ok, everyone that isn't  journalist predicted that one), the Packers play their worst game forever... on and on. So bizarre. Which of course leads to...

Breesus King of the Drews (116) def Doof's Playinators (61)

Difficult to write this one up this week, but not as hard as three weeks ago when my team actually played well. This week Breesus did well, I just sucked. Sucked so hard. This may be the suckiest team that ever sucked. It started at the top, Rodgers played his worst game for years. And no one else bothered either. What a mess. Thanks to the ever helpful Fantasy Recap that says Breesus has now beaten me 3-0 this season and 5-0 in two seasons. And also that I was 'clobbered', 'pulverised', and that I was 'sent home quickly' from the play-offs. The Recap can really kick you when you're down.

Beckham, kicking ass and chewing bubble gum

For Breesus, Drew Brees played well on the road again, 27 points against the Bears. Murray again had a great game (and is so great to watch) and Odell Beckham continues to press for Rookie of the Year. Murray did break his hand and after surgery on Monday is questionable for the Championship. Can Breesus win without Murray?


Breesus goes on to defend his 2013 Championship, and with his record to date it is had to argue that he does not belong in the Championship game.  Two losses, one to Zim and the other to BB. And his opponent will be...

Zim's Doomydooms (111) def Agent P (74)

Zim wins and heads to the Championship game. One versus Two. Could it be better? (Sure, if your name isn't Breesus or Zim!).

Agent P tried to compete for suckiest team but lost that to me. Demarius Thomas managed to put up 18 and everyone else... what the hell happened this week? Julio Jones was pulled out with injury, what was Rivers excuse (this week)? McCoy and Blount? Hilton? Anyone?

GRONK!

On the other side, Zim's score sheet looks so similar to Breesus's. Solid performers all round with, surprisingly, Alex Smith topping the scoring with 21. Lynch and Ingram can have quiet days and still go for 26 between them, double the score of both Agent P's and my quiet-day-RBs. Crazy.

In more crazy news, Agent P and Doof will face off next week in the Consolation final, a redux from last year. In 2013 I won that game and Breesus won the Championship. Anyone willing to pick a winner for 2014?

BB (74) def Lighties (73)

Close game here with BB narrowly taking the points. The Lighties highest scorer, by a lot, was the defence. For BB, the Texans D was just pipped for most points by QB Roethlisberger who put up 14.

Endless (102) def US Forces (47)

Maybe the General takes the dubious honour of suckiest team of this week with 47 points with the Dolphins defense scoring minus 2 and Luck scoring a measly 15 (which is good if you aren't Andrew Luck). Endless, meanwhile, had another great late-season game with Bell and Bryant leading the way.

Semi finals: Match-ups

Finals time for the top-4 teams who fight for entry to the Championship game, and bragging rights for the next four who will jostle for final positions.

1 v 4 - Breesus (135) v Doof (119)

Both teams are relatively unchanged from last weeks game, Breesus swapping the defence and Doof swapping Marshall who is out for the year with injury. In fact, there is little change from the teams that faced off only two weeks ago, with the Colts defence moving from Breesus to Doof and the change at WR spot.

With both teams sporting players that have been performing consistently well it is hard to identify a key match-up. Similarly, both teams have diversified away from starting too many players from the one team. From what I can tell Breeses and Doof were also the only teams this year to try a double-TE combination and each team only tried it once. Despite the discussion of the Year of the TE it really did not turn out like that.

With flagship QB Drew Brees not scheduled to play until the Monday Night Football game we won't know the winner of this match-up until Tuesday afternoon.

2 v 3 - Zim (129) v Agent P (131)

Gronkowski being tackled by a kitten

Projected neck and neck, this one also won't be finalised until Tuesday afternoon with RB Ingram playing in the MNF game for Zim. Agent P has had a difficult second half of the season with a 4-game losing streak and then 2-wins to finish the season and claim 3rd place. This stems from her star players that couldn't keep it together down the stretch: Rivers, McCoy, Thomas and Jones. At times all have had flashes of brilliance, at times they have all struggled.

Although Zim has had some similar issues, when Lynch struggled he posted 10 points, compared to McCoy's 3. And players like Gronkowski and Nelson haven't seems to struggle at all. Zim has averaged over 100 for the last 7-8 games.

Speaking of Gronkowski, check out ESPN's profile on him. And make sure to look at the photo gallery, it combines three of my favourite things: Gronkowski, Zoolander and kittens. Admit it, the photos are very Zoolander-y.

5 v 8 - Endless (112) v US Forces (95)

Andrew Luck couldn't carry the entire burden for the General this year but he did enough last week. A slow start by Endless has kept her out of the finals, but with Dez Bryant, LeVeon Bell, Jamaal Charles and DeAndre Hopkins she has one of the most potent offences in this league.

6 v 7 - Lighties (99) v BB (108)

Like the General, the Illuminator's over-reliance on Peyton Manning was their weakness this year, time and again Manning would provide amazing numbers and players like Crabtree and Gore would let the side down. For shame 49ers! A similar fate for BB with high-flying players often playing bit parts: Mike Evans, LaFell, Crowell - all good in their own right but not always utilised by their teams.

Week 14: Award Ceremony

CLAIMED: The Gardener

Doof cut Zim down to size this week, ending a 6-game winning streak and claiming The Gardener. 

Zim beat Doof in Week 40 odd points, had two losses and then went on a 6-game winning streak with wins of 20, 80, 50, 3, 25 and 60 points. That 80, that was Breesus! It took a season high 152 points to take down the rampaging alien with the weird looking head. 

Look for the two Gardner Awards (Breesus's award for last week) to be posted this week. 

Hypnotoad Award 

For scoring way more than any other coach

The Hypnotoad Award is named for the Hypnotoad, renowned for mesmerising his enemies and compelling them to do his bidding. 

Doof!

It's like all my Christmas's came early this week with a big win, the top score, the highest score of the season, the Gardener and a play-off spot.

Mission Accomplished

For leaving the most points on the bench in a losing side

The Mission Accomplished Award is named for the 2003 speech given by George W Bush announcing that the Iraq war was basically over and then sitting back and waiting for the kudos to come in. Instead of kudos, 11 years and now ISIS. 

Well, the MA award almost went to Breesus, can you believe that! An impressive 81 points on the bench. But no, Breesus got beat for the award

FARNSWORTH'S!

Sitting at the bar, feet up, chattin up the honey's and leaving 89 points on the bench.

The MA is a cruel, but funny, award. 55 points came from two QBs that Farns was stashing away. So it's not like all 89 points is translatable into actual points. But that isn't the point. 

Week 14: Wash-up

Week 14 was the final week of the regular season and we now have the Play-off games for the top four and non-play-off games for the next four. The last two teams are finished for the season: Marcy and Farns, thanks for playing!

Two teams were guaranteed play-off spots and five teams entered Week 14 needing to win to keep their play-off hopes alive. Wins to Agent P and the Illuminators would seal the fate for BB, Endless and Doof. The games are done, the results are in and we have our top four for 2014:

Number One - 

BREESUS KING OF THE DREWS (12-2)

A big congratulations to Breesus King of the Drews for finishing top of the standings. An outstanding 12-2 record, with losses only coming in the last four weeks, well after the top place was secured.

Number Two - 

ZIM'S DOOMYDOOMS (10-4)

Long wining streaks on the backs of solid performers week in and week out. Zim scored the most points of any team season, narrowly pipping Breesus by 2. At 1,466 she scored 470 points more than the last placed Farnsworths.

Number Three - 

AGENT P (8-6)

A rocky end to the season that could well have finished in misery (cf lluminators) but she held on, took the final W of the season and cleanly took third place.

Number Four - 

The Illuminator's lost and were unable to secure the fourth spot behind Agent P, dropping to 7-7. BB, Endless and Doof all won: all four teams at 7-7. In the 4-way split between the Lighties, Endless, BB and Doof's Playinators there was only one that could claim the spot...

Doof's Playinators (7-7)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROAD TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP (tm) BABY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I have so many things I want to write and so many people to thank. I'd like to start by thanking The General for taking care of the Illuminators. I believe a copy of the CIA Torture Handbook was seen on The General's desk last week... no idea what that means or why I said that... Thanks to Peyton Manning for putting in a stinker... Thanks to Aaron Rodgers for an MVP performance... Thanks to Zim for tanking... WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BB (88) def Breesus (85)

HUGE upset victory for BB here, and the previous post by BB shows just what it means to bring down the Boss. Like so many other teams this week BB needed to win to keep his play-off hopes alive and he took on the Champ and took the W. BB had five players over 10 points compared to only three by Breesus, again showing the importance of a team of performers. We will all wonder what could have been had the Brady trade not happened, but BB can relax and plan in the off-season knowing he took down the big dog. Small consolation as the win did not also come with the play-off berth.

Agent P (105) def Farns (82)

Win and in for Agent P and she took care of business. A table of crazy scores, really, Rivers on 10, Jones a super 31, McCoy only 3, and the Lions 13. Crazy. But crazy enough to win and take third place. Agent P throws down with Zim in the play-offs. The Farns enjoyed a weekend at the Coaches lounge, getting to know some of the ladies and impressing the other barflys.

Endless (129) def Marcy (94)

Endless won five of the last eight games to give herself a shot at the play-off but fell a few points short in the end. A monster game by LeVeon Bell set up this win, 41 points to one of the best RBs in the game. Stafford and Charles putting up good numbers doesn't hurt. If only they had been consistent through the season. Marcy's fortunes again rose and fell on the backs of her QBs and TE. Tannehill was poor and so was Jimmy Graham. Graham had a very strange season, mirroring Marcy's.

The General (63) def The Lighties (51)

Two point seven two. That was Peyton Manning's score this week. 2 interceptions and no touchdowns - absolutely amazing. Two players over 10 points utterly sunk the Illuminators, sunk the game and sunk the play-offs. The General got by on the back of Luck, again. Luck threw a TD with 30 seconds left to win the game against the Browns, win the game against the Lighties and propel Doof into the play-offs. Luck is my new favourite player. And General, sir: I think I owe you a beer.

Doof (152) def Zim (106)

After going down to Breesus last week I thought my season was over. I was shocked, SHOCKED when I opened the app last night, clicked on Game Centre and it showed my Week 15 match-up against Breesus. OMG I MADE IT! I ran to tell Zim the bad-good-bad news: Sorry Zim you lost - I'm in the play-offs - I have to play Breesus. Crap - Breesus! Again! Still, seven players over 10 points and four over 20 - that will win a lot of games. Zim's 105 points with five players over 10 is enough to win most games, but this was not her week.