Week 8 - Match-ups

Apart from this weekend being very exciting because its a four-day long weekend* (yes!) because of stupid horse racing (boo!) there are some great football games and fantasy games. Today, Patriots v Miami - can't wait to watch that tonight. Sunday Night Football is the 6-0 Packers v 6-0 Broncos. Wow! Then there is a big divisional game, 6-0 Bengals v 4-3 Steelers. So much to look forward to.

And then we have two 4-3 teams fighting it out, two 1-6 teams looking to stay off the bottom, and Marcy looking to stay on top.

Agent P (91) v US Forces (117)

A huge internal match-up this week as Agent P's Cam Newton takes on Agent P's Andrew Luck in Monday Night Football (at Tuesday lunchtime). So far Newton has had the better season, and his Panthers are 6-0, and this is reflected in Agent P's starting line-up. She will want to swap out Arian Foster, though, who tore his achilles last week and is out for the season. Some tough starts for the 5-2 General this week, with Bell and Bryant playing a top ranked D, Hopkins hoping to bounce back after the Texans embarrassment v Miami and Murray also playing a top-ranked D that themselves got a little embarrassed last week. That bellweather Palmer is a good starting QB though - nothing flashy just a consistent 18-20 every week.

BB (118) v Lighties (116)

BB is looking to bounce back from his first loss of the season and has made the drastic change of dropping Flacco for starting Peyton. That caught me by surprise! With Roethlisberger looking to come back from injury this week maybe Peyton is just a place-holder for now while Big Ben's status is confirmed? Or maybe the 6-1 BB has a feeling about Manning this week, and with that record who can argue? Peyton is overdue for a big one. Freeman and Jones v Tampa Bay are probably also in for big ones. For the Lighties, BToP and Keenan Allen are looking good v the Ravens, and the Seahawks D could have a field day against the Cowboys. The rest of the team are in tough match-ups, McFadden v Seattle, Sanders v Packers, Bennett v Vikings. Tough gigs.

Zim (104) v Endless (93)

Zim's Patriots have been doing well this season, and the emergence of Lynch last week is a positive sign for everyone. She has added the Jets D for their match-up against the the Raiders which seems like a pretty damn good match-up. The Raiders Offence has been impressive (Carr, Cooper), but a hardened, tough D could exploit the young, excitable O-line nicely. Gurley is likely to have another big game against the flailing 49ers D, but tough match-ups for Wilson, Jennings, Landry, Cooks and Donnell. Swapping out Morris who has the Bye will also help. Lacey is available after his bye, but would you start him against the Broncos's D - it's the best in the NFL - and he has been sucking lately. Hill at Steelers is tough too.

Breesus (114) v Farnsworths (99)

Big game for both 4-3 Coaches this week with the chance to move two games ahead of the other. The Farns is on a two-game losing streak after the impressive 4 win run, while Breesus had a big win last week. The Farns is rocking the stronger QB at the moment, despite a couple of down games by Ryan. Peterson v Bears and Fitz v Browns are both highly favourable. Breesus has Ivory v Raiders which could be explosive, and so too Johnson v Browns. Watch to see whether FA pick-up Stefon Diggs gets inserted into the line-up for Breesus, he's had two good games and looks like seeing more of the ball.

Doof (89) v Marcy (124)

The 6-1 top-of-the-standings Marcy is projected for a blow-out this week. But Rodgers is playing the toughest D in football, Brown is against a top 5 D, Jeffrey as well. It could be closer than it looks. I'm sure, just positive, that Dalton will continue his fine form against the Steelers, Johnson will have another good week with a new Offensive Co-ordinator (Jim Bob Cooter [seriously, that's his name, Jim Bob Cooter. You can't make this up]) in place, and West will run rampant against the Lions in London. Good feeling about keeping Marcy in check this week.



*Not sure why businesses aren't crying foul about Tuesday being a public holiday and having to pay overtime money and what-not. It's an outrage and a blight on the state economy! The government should be ashamed of themselves for allowing a blatant theft from hard-working super-profitable multi-nationals. SHAME!

Week 7 - Awards

The Gardener

For six weeks Bradyless Brothers has lauded over this competition, like some sort of Fantasy King. From high on his elevated throne he laughed mockingly as we scrambled to keep up, feasting on the remains of his enemies. But, draped in rich, red velvet he forgot to account for the Vampire Queen. And she feeds on red.




Marcy started the year strong with three wins but dropped Week 4. Since the loss she has piled on another three wins and with that third win, blasts BB down to size. A Fantasy King no more, his throne has been kicked over and Marcy has taken his fallen crown and put it on her own head. She ends Week 7 atop the standings, the confident conqueror.

How long can her reign last? A win this week and she will be the prey we all hunt.

Hypnotoad Award

The Hypnotoad Award recognises outstanding achievement in scoring

The Week 7 Hypno is awarded to Breesus, who got fat from the Dolphins destroying the Texans.

Mission Accomplished

The Mission Accomplished Award recognises outstanding achievement in walking away early and not finishing it off

The Week 7 MA is.... Agent P. Most coaches stored players on bye's this week, but Agent P is unfortunate enough to have two good QBs that were both active. When only one can start the bench is going to look worse than it really is. 

Week 7: Wash-up

Some big games and big results this week - we now have no winless teams and no undefeated teams.

The NFL also had its fair share of big games and big plays. Perhaps there was no bigger game this week than Miami v Houston - not your typical exciting match-up, but it might go some way to explaining why all of a sudden Miami players are leading the scoring this week. IIRC, in the first 6 minutes or so of the game Miami had put up like 28 points to 0, and by the half were 41-0. At one point, Miami had 28 points on the board and the Texans still had zero yards of offence. They would win 43-26 in the end. Only three weeks ago Miami sacked their Head Coach, promoted a young, untested Coach and in two games have put up over 80 points in two wins. Suck it, previous coach.

This week the Dolphins face the Patriots, who are 6-0 on the season and not looking overly challenged by anyone. The final score for them this week was 30-23 against the Jets, but the score is favourable to the Jets who in the second half were really not in the game. 

How about some big plays? Can we go past Gronk? No we cannot:

How about some rookie action:

And a little Calvin Johnson action:

Marcy (127) def BB (121)

The battle of the heavy weights certainly lived up to expectations. The knock-out blow? The Rams defence - a huge 25 points! Marcy takes the game, the top of the Standings, and cuts BB down to size, all without Rogers and Jeffrey's playing.

Ok, so this happened, in last week's post I said: "Danny Woodhead is projected at 21 points. Who set that, Mrs Woodhead?" Funny thing, Woodhead put up 22.1 points. As I was obviously  suggesting at the time, Mrs Woodhead has a history of grossly underestimating her son's fantasy potential and should have, obviously, expected more, like this writer. And unlike this writer, she should be ashamed of herself. I totally called it.

Forces (102) def Zim (79)

Solid week from The General's troops this week with no particular stand-outs but no losers either. Well, except maybe Hopkins, who we gave a big shout-out to last week but had nothing going this week. Not his fault, the entire Texans team was woeful. Zim is rocking one of the best QBs this year, in actual games and fantasy - my god I love watching Tom Brady work. Too bad the other stars on the team checked out this season, but it was good seeing Lynch be dominant. Matthews was a good Free Agency pick-up in a week when Miami played lights out in the first half.

Breesus (137) def Lighties (110)

If you say you thought Breesus would post a 137 I'll call you a liar - no one saw this coming. Lamar Miller, 35 points. Wow! The win puts Breesus a game over .500 at 4-3, and staying within striking distance. The Lighties dropped the game but are also 4-3, BToP had another big game and another loss - the Chargers are so crazy. Washington was 24-0 down before mounting a comeback to steal the game from the Buccaneers, helped in large part by Reed's 2TDs and 19 points. Huge effort.

Endless (84) def Farnsworth's (61)

I said Endless needed to kick Farnsworth's while he was down and boy did she put the boot in! The win was her first W of the season and was in no small part thanks to Rookie of the Year candidate Todd Gurley: 28 points and making plenty of Rams fans happy. The Farn's got nothing going this week with all big guns held in check by the opponents. I worry that Matty Ryan is on the slide after a great start to the season, the Falcons are pretty weird.

Doof (96) def Agent P (88)

Another tough one for Agent P, the other QB (Luck) would have won her the game and her premier RB (Foster) is out for the season with a torn Achilles. With RB's in short supply its a big loss. I really have nothing else to add about this match-up, another Dour Doof Affair.

Week 7: Match-ups

Week 7 is now under way with the Seahawks taking on the 49ers. Two years ago this would have been an amazing game to watch, now it's anyone's guess how it will play out. Both teams have had huge declines, but offer tantalising potential and the possibility for awesome*. We'll see.

In my favourite match-up of this week its the 5-0 Patriots versus the 4-1 Jets. 'Four and one Jets???' I hear you exclaim with incredulity, but it's true, and they don't even have Flash on the field, just a guy called Ryan FitzMagic, at least, that's his beard's name.

Marcy (112) v BB (128)

Battle of the heavy weights here, 5-1 v 6-0. Marcy has the chance to trim the unbeaten BB down to size and claim herself a Gardener. The projection is set against her though, Danny Woodhead is projected at 21 points. Who set that, Mrs Woodhead?

Forces (116) v Zim (82)

Zim is rocking a couple of players on Bye's this week and has a lower projection than we can expect at game time. The General has some great players match-ups this week with Palmer vs Ravens, Bell vs KC, Murray v Chargers and the Bills D v Jacksonville.

Lighties (115) v Breesus (111)

The Lighties have a chance to drop Breesus below a .500 record this week while also staying in touch with the League leaders. Favourable match-ups this week for McCoy, BToP and Brown certainly help his chances. Tough match-ups for Breesus this week with Ivory at the Patriots, Cooper at the Chargers and Brees against the Colts, who had that humiliating loss last week.

Endless (93) v Farnsworth's (107)

Endless needs to kick the Farn's while he is down and get into the winners circle.All the players are active, the match-ups are good, but those two RBs in Gurley and Jennings really need to fire. A 300-yard 3TD game from Wilson wouldnt go astray either. The Farns's are still rolling with Matt Ryan whose hot hand has noticeably cooled, but with petersen, Beckham and Larry F there is plenty of firepower ready to go.

Doof (94) v Agent P (112)

Strong line-up on paper for Agent P, but don't we say that every week? Newton is coming off a career game last week, coming from behind in the 4th quarter to beat the Seahawks at Seattle - one of the hardest things to do in modern football. Foster, Marshall, Martin, Kelce, Benjamin - that set has a lot to like. Stafford and Megatron had a big game last week and I'm hoping that continues this week, with my Red Rocket on his Bye. Not sure what I think about the rest of the crew, lot of potential for boom or bust. Murray at Panthers isn't a good match-up.



*Not you, Jarryd Hayne, no awesome for you.

Week 5 and 6 - Award Ceremony

Somehow we missed an Awards Ceremony for Week 5, not sure what happened with the scheduling department but let me assure you that heads have rolled. The chief idiot has been demoted and told to shut the hell up (but he doesn't listen) and the second idiot has been sent to Washington as ambassador. I'm not really sure who thought that was a good decision, but another idiot in Washington probably won't make a big splash, and besides, the paperwork was signed, speeches were made, and idiocy was well and truly confirmed. Maybe we can move forward? The new chief idiot would like to think so, and he'd also like to think everyone else is a bigger idiot. Time will tell.

Before the weekly awards we need to recognise the effort that one Head Coach put in to Week 6. This Head Coach did something so inspiring, so important, that he takes home this League's most prestigious award:

The Gardener

A loss to start the season did little to the Farnell Farnsworth's confidence this season, as they went on to win four straight games, as well as two mighty performances in Week 2 and 3. Posting over 140 points in each game, Weeks 4 and 5 were a milder, but still victories. But in Week 5 the galloping Farn's met the blitzkrieging General and there was only one winner: The General took the field and cut that tall poppy down to size.

General, sir, on behalf of the entire VP3 League (except Farns [and BB], obviously), we salute you.

Hypnotoad Award

The Hypnotoad Award recognises outstanding achievement in scoring

The Week 5 Hypno is awarded to Marcy, for putting up 110 points in a win. Coming off her first, and only, loss of the season Marcy rebounded immediately with a big win over Endless.

The Week 6 Hypno is awarded to Zim, for posting 114 points in her first win of the season. The players finally clicked in Week 6.

Mission Accomplished

The Mission Accomplished Award recognises outstanding achievement in walking away early and not finishing it off

The Week 5 and Week 6 Mission Accomplished awards are both awarded to a Coach that is trying to engage in monopolistic award practices. If memory serves, last year Marcy tried to own all the MA's, this year it is Agent P. In Week 5 it was Doug Martin that burned her, putting up 33 points for her bench, in Week 6 it was a collection of jerks, led amiably by Luck with 27 and Newton with 19. I guess when you have two QBs on the bench your bench is going to be over-represented. 

Week 6: Wash-up

My Wednesday's have been just crazy lately, hopefully back to normal next week.

As compensation, check out the dumbest play of the week, courtesy of the Colts. If for nothing else, just listen to the commentators, Cris and Al, try to make sense of the play around the 50+ second mark. Cris is just beautiful.

Zim (114) def Agent P (99)

Blake Bortles
(I assume)

Last week I applauded Agent P for rocking Blake Bortles (totally a Pokemon name: Bortles Bortles) as Luck was a gametime decision. Well stupid Luck did play and did well, but still would not have been enough to bring down Zim. Those are some pretty numbers, finally! Seeing Graham and Lynch with numbers, it puts a big ol' smile on my face. Zim climbs the Standings with her first win of the season, and with the Patriots, Lynch and Graham all looking strong it could well be the first of many. 

Marcy (99.3) inched past Breesus (98.98) 

Breesus has lost 2 games in a row by a combined 1.3 points, or so. The luck just isn't quite there for the reigning World Champion this year and now sits at 3-3. Marcy, meanwhile, continues her path to glory with a 5-1 record and outright second place. Jeffrey had a big return after a month off, with 20 points for Marcy's bench. Might be a look-in next week... or the week after the Bye at any rate.

The General (109) def Farnsworths (92) 

I picked the Farn's over the General in this one and end up taking the hit with my bookie. A down game for Petersen and Blue didn't suit up and so the Farn's gets steamrolled by the Generals two WRs that put up over 50 between them. Hopkins is having a great year so far, and great to see Bryant get some love at the Steelers. What's with the Bill's D? Minus one? Ugly!

Lighties (107) def Endless (73)

Big win to the Lighties to put them at 4-2. Rivers really was channelling the BToP, but despite his huge output (500 yards!) his team still lost to the Packers. Huge game for Endless' D this week, the Texan's finally putting together the numbers we all expected them to have all year. But Lacey continued his poor year, and Endless's poor year continues too.

BB (107) def Doof (98) 

BB remains undefeated after 6 with another strong victory. It looked ugly after Friday's games when BB was up 55-13 or so - even with a low game to Julio Jones. But Freeman! Wow! A great game by my man Calvin Johnson just wasnt enough, especially when a RB posts a doughnut. Eli Manning posted a woeful game for BB and for the NY Giants.