Operation Impending Darkness

Doomydooms,

It is imperative that you all understand the bluff that is the Ingolstadt Illuminators.  Their coach may try to act as if they are some nefarious coven working under cover of ancient secrets and traditions, but I put it to you that they are all as harmless as kittens.  Hello kitty kittens.  

We all knew Hello Kitty is always the default leader of any secret society

As you are all by now aware, Anquan Boldin has been reformed at our prestige re-education facility, Blorch: Home of the Slaughtering Rat People.  I expect you to all learn from Anquon’s experiences and not repeat his insolent lack of doom bringing last weekend.  

This week I expect the winning, flaming pyre of illumination of Ingolstadt to be extinguished!  Let his lovely glistening world be brought down into the depths, to a place were light has no place.  A place where we can boldly mock Ingolstadt's De-llumination!

Now, for those of you that are a little slow (Gonlalez, that pun was directed immediately at your vicinity) a brief reminder of your choices.  Win against those Hello Kitty freaks; snuff out their horrid light; make your Mighty Ruler proud.   

OR

BLORCH: Home of the Slaughtering Rat People

Why did I show you that horrible image?  To motivate.  Like Belichick did.

Bring the DOOM people, bring the doom.