Week 4: Award Ceremony

Before we get to the weekly awards I would like to announce a new award that has just been enlivened:

The Gardener Award: damn you tall poppies!

Breesus has now won 4 games in a row and is clearly on a hot streak. With 4 straight wins under his belt The Gardener award is now up for grabs for whoever can cut that tall poppy down to size.

The Gardener Award has long been considered the ultimate award for sporting prowess in Australia. It is awarded only in special circumstances, when a sportsperson from any background takes down an overachiever. That's right, it celebrates the little guy. It all started with that epic struggle of David v Goliath and ever since we Aussies have cheered when the superstar gets taken down a peg. Inevitably the tall poppy will be trimmed to size.

In this League The Gardener is awarded to a team that defeats a team with a 4+ game winning streak.

You will all recall last years The Gardener Awards: Zim got one for trimming Agent P, the General got one for burning Breesus and Breesus got one for trampling Doof.

Who will step up and bring Breesus down? Bradylessbrothers gets first crack this week!

Now, this week's awards:

Hypnotoad Award 

For scoring way more than any other coach

The Hypnotoad Award is named for the Hypnotoad, renowned for mesmerising his enemies and compelling them to do his bidding. 

The Ingoldstadt Illuminators take home the Hypno this week with their nuclear effort against Agent P. 140 points is not a score to be taken lightly, so wear this helmet with pride!  

Mission Accomplished

For leaving the most points on the bench in a losing side

The Mission Accomplished Award is named for the 2003 speech given by George W Bush announcing that the Iraq war was basically over and then sitting back and waiting for the kudos to come in. Instead of kudos, 11 years and now ISIS. 

Well, maybe I should take some of the blame for this weeks MA award, after all I did suggest starting Kirk Cousins and that has ended rather badly*.

Marcy takes the Mission Accomplished award for the second week in a row: 56 points on the bench.  

*Having considered taking some of the blame I have decided against it: Doof is blameless. BLAMELESS!

Week 4: Wash-up

Week 4 is done and dusted, 5 grinner's and 5 hand-wringers.

The League is evenly positioned at this point. Breesus is at the top on 4-0, balanced by Marcy with 0-4. Zim is second with 3-1, balanced against my jerks with 1-3. And the rest is 2-2. Still anyone's Championship from here.

Zim (70) def Farnsworth's (57)

It could be said that Zim played like the Eagles of weeks 1-3, not very well but still got the win. Her much vaulted Chargers defence got the job done with 10 points, her beloved WR Jordie Nelson had another good game and pretty much everyone else was ok to terrible. Starting QB Foles was abysmal, and that carried through with the others. Good thing for her that the Farnsworth's left 3 bye'd players and started the Patriots defence: -2.

Nelson: Adorable, what's not to love?

Endless (99) def Bradylessbrothers (73)

A name and QB change may be the two things saving BB this year: Brady had a terrible game and the Patriots there worst game in a decade, completely carved up by the Chiefs. Good news for BB is Steve Smith running wild at the Ravens and the Texans defence, led by JJ Watt. How good is JJ? Watch his Week 4 highlight video. Endless got mass points from Jamaal Charles, newly back from injury and one of the contributors to the Patriots crushing: 28 points, the Chiefs defense had 16 points and QB Stafford had another excellent game. A new TE and playing Dez Bryant consistently and Endless is to be feared. BB will be sorely tempted to start Big Ben Roethlisberger next week, who despite losing 3 games has done well in fantasy points.

Lights (140) def Agent P (91)

WTF? Where did this come from? Four players over 20 and two more over 10 and the Lighties dropped a huge one on the platypus with a fedora, as the attached photo taken after the match shows. Is it wise to replace Romo with Manning next week? Donnell, where did he come from? Awesome team selection. Against such an onslaught there is little Agent P could have done. Rivers did as we expected, dominated the Jaguars, Hilton and Kelce are playing very well and the Lions did their bit with 7 points.

The General (88) def Marcy (75)

Congrats to The General's Hawthorn Hawks for pulling of a big GF win. Maybe next year they'll take it easy and let someone else have a shot? I left the game half way through the 2nd quarter, without a stake in the game it was just boring at that point, so dominant. The Force's were led by Luck who turned in another blinder, Morris and Novak had good games. For Marcy... what can be said? Cousins was so so terrible, but how could you legitimately put Tannehill on the field in his place? The Panthers D? WTF? Just woeful. A proper game from both Cousins and the Panthers and Marcy has this one in the bag. Just awful Luck*.

Breesus (107) def Doof's Playinators (92)

The only Running Back doing his job is DeMarco Murray, leading the pack for the year and sinking my team for another Week. My QB had a good game, and in doing so propped up Randall Cobb, sinking my team for another Week. I can take some comfort knowing that Breesus left 54 points on the bench, but let that be a warning to Bressus' Week 5 opponent!

Doof Tower: now 0-4 on the season

*Bad pun!

Week 4: Match-ups

Week 4, the first week of team byes and a total pain in the ass for coaches. How to account for Peyton Manning, the Seahawks defence or West and Green being MIA for a week? Planning, people.

Farnsworths (70) v Zim's Doomydooms (96)

Zim unveiled her 2014 strategy last night, replacing her previous Predator and Skekses advisor's with Ron Burgundy. Only time will tell how that will play out, and whether she will be forced to bring in a shark called Doby at some point to rescue her season. Game-wise, Zim has replaced her bye-d players with ring-ins for the week, none bigger than the Charger Defence, who are playing the woeful Jaguars, at home in San Diego (or Whales Vagina as it likes to be called). The Farnsworth's have yet to update their bye'd players and will need to do so to be in with a chance against the rampaging Doom.

Endless (71) v Bradysbrothers (80)

Loads of changes this week for BB who is sporting a solid line-up but risking it all on Tom Brady. We al know that Brady can do wrong and it is all his linesmen's fault he has been scoring poorly this year. So let's all hope that the O-Line can support their football-god this week. Like the Farnsworth's, Endless has yet to correct for the bye, with two active players not active. Endless also needs to replace the TE as Pitta is out for the season with a dislocated hip (OUCH!).

Ponder: is it too late for Bradysbrothers to change their name to Bradyswife? I'm sure that would enliven the blog...

Lighties (60) v Agent P (83)

Refusing the believe that other football-god Peyton Manning is on a bye this week, the Lighties are sticking with their QB. It's possible that even on a bye Manning will score more points than Ryan Tannehill or Blake Bortles, but I wouldn't risk it against that dastardly platypus's Phil Rivers. Rivers has been king dick in Whale Vagina Town and against the flailing Jaguars could provide an extremely stimulating scorecard*. Agent P still needs to add her weekly ring-ins to the side as she is sporting three empty slots.

I wish Agent P well for tomorrow's big Grand Final and hope that the swannies can bring the glory. Go Swans!**.

The General (88) v Vampire Queen (108)

The Vampire Queen is looking to consume as much red as possible this week and claw herself off the bottom of the standings. Major player movements and a fierce, competitive, vampiric nature make her dangerous in these conditions. Her team is fully bye-prepared and ready to bring her all the red she can eat. The General has yet to make all his changes and needs to replace a RB and his Defence. Unless he is exceptionally focussed on the Brown and Gold this week. In which case:

I wish The General well for tomorrow's big Grand Final and hope that the mighty hawks can bring the glory. Go Hawks!**.

Doof (111) v Breesus (91)

Breesus is hoping to stay atop the standings and post a fourth Win this week and Doof is hoping not to descend even further. If memory serves I've never ridden the bottom of the standings, unless someone cares to correct me (don't bother, I don't need the pain to be revisited. And if I ever did ride the bottom I'm sure it would all the Farnsworth's fault: serial Heartbreaker that he is). Breesus, acting all cool and awesome nad boss-like, has yet to replace the Defence, but that arrogance will see seal his fate, Mwuaha.... MHUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

*I blame Zim for enabling this sort of puerile writing
**Equal Opportunity Supporter. As as  Tigers man my interest in the AFL has risen and fallen through the 2014 season, completely ending 3 weeks ago for a game I have no recollection of.

Meet Doomydoom's new scout - he's kind of a big deal

From the desk of ZIM...

In case you were all wondering HOW Zim managed such greatness, despite not even winning every match… well, I will enlighten you all.

First, and most importantly, I AM ZIM.  With that out of the way, I will now, belatedly, announce my new talent scout.  Yes, yes, this does mean that I replaced Chamberlain, the Skesis that sucked the life out of the pod people and hopefully as many gelflings as you can poke a stick at.  Apparently, sucking the essence from people is bad for morale (who knew?).  Also, using an predator that was infatuated with a alien was bound to cause some friction in the team. 

So I swapped out the predator for a predator of my own: Richard Sherman.  THAT’S RIGHT.  You will all have Sherman hunting you down like a yellow-bellied red-neck.

My strategy of using monsters was not necessarily a bad thing, but my predator – as you may recall – was infatuated with that tarted up alien that those luminescent pricks sent to distract him.  SO, I have replaced the predator with Marshawn BEAST-MODE* Lynch. 

Finally, to manage byes and player injury, well, I’d like you all to meet my new talent scout – He’s kind of a big deal.

“When approaching something as significant as the Seahawks defence having a bye, I thought to myself, what would Caesar do?” Mr Burgundy said, while drinking too much milk on a warm day.  “Rather than encasing myself in a glass cage of emotion, I looked around and noticed the Chargers defence, facing off against the Jaguars.”

“A little known fact about town the Chargers call home: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means ‘a whale’s vagina.” Ron explained.  “On that basis, they’ll beat the Jaguars who are a team I don’t even recognise because I don’t follow the NBA.”

Yup – that is the wisdom flowing people.  Stand back and recognise.

By the end of this season, some will be disfigured. In some cases, lasting friendships will be made. And as usual, no touching of the hair and face.

*I am advised that in beastmode studies, Lynch defeats others 60% of the time, all the time.

I am ZIM

Week 3: Award ceremony

I am SO close to actually having the awards made, I totally swear... dammit.

*Edit* Now with extra Awards!

*Note* Yes, the helmets ARE the awards.

Hypnotoad Award 

For scoring way more than any other coach

The Hypnotoad Award is named for the Hypnotoad, renowned for mesmerising his enemies and compelling them to do his bidding. 

Zim is heating up, two weeks with a score over 100 and this week the only coach to do so. 116 points when the next closest was 88! Congrats to her General Manager for putting a solid team together, much better than the Alien last year.  

Oh great, there goes Zim again, off on another maniacal laugh

Mission Accomplished

For leaving the most points on the bench in a losing side

The Mission Accomplished Award is named for the 2003 speech given by George W Bush announcing that the Iraq war was basically over and then sitting back and waiting for the kudos to come in. Instead of kudos, 11 years and now ISIS. 

Congratulations to Marceline the Vampire Queen for leaving 71 points on the bench in a losing side. Marcy was really let down by her stud starters this week and faces some difficult decisions for Week 4: start em or sit em? I'd say that Jimmy Graham is a start. Lacy I'm not sure about now. Newton and the Panthers D? Maybe try to bring Kirk Cousins in? Risky. 

Poor Marcy, left to sing the blues

Week 3: Wash-up

What a crazy week of football Week 3 was, both in fantasy and reality - although fantasy means more to us obviously:

The Falcons put up 54 points on Thursday night before 3/4 time but Matt Ryan only delivered 23 points to the Farnsworth's. Ryan was taken off before the 3rd quarter ended, so dominate were the Falcons (54-0 at that time). What might have been had the Falcon's gone all out? The Lions beat the Packers (unusual in the modern era) but Stafford got a miserable 4 points for Endless (also delivering only 8 points to my man Megatron). Chris Johnson and Frank Gore gave the Lighties a combined 4 points. And the all-conquering Panthers defence gave up -3 for Marcy. To the Steelers of all non-offence-oriented teams. Where have all the points gone?

Well, Lynch continues to be the best RB in the business, 24 points for Zim. And of course there is Andrew Luck: 370 passing yards, 4 TDs and 32 points for The General. Well played sir (except for the loss, by less than a point... ouch!). Someone told the NY Giants that the season had actually started and they showed up for the first time this year: Rashard Jennings running for 176 yards, a TD and 23 points for the Vampire Queen. Rashard Jennings? The Giants?

An early warning to coaches: Week 4 is the first week of Bye's, not all teams are playing.

Also, loads of injuries in Week 3, make sure your starters are fit to play.

Breesus (85) def Endless (52)

Breesus continued his winning ways albeit with his lowest score of the season, and sits atop the standings at 3-0. I'm going to contribute this win to luck, not Andrew that will come later, just Lady Luck beaming her happies down on Breesus for some reason and leaving Endless in a dark, luckless place. Not the only coach to be there this week. Endless could have started Bryant, Hopkins and Dalton, but Breesus could counter with Garcon and Bush - so the ledger is squared.

Zim (116) def Lighties (72)

Stand out performances from Foles, Maclin and Lynch and Zim had a big win over the Illuminators. The Seahawks defence and Gostkowski chipped in for some slush. On the other side, Peyton Manning had a reasonable day in the office with 20 points (a little down for him) and Antonio Brown had a great game with 21. The great Super Bowl Rematch was just that, great. It came down to the overtime wire and both QBs and both Defences played really well in spurts, and average in spurts.

Bradybrothers (79.5) def The General (78.9)

The second game to be decided by less than 1 point, and Bradysbrothers snatched a close one. Much like the Indianapolis Colts the General leaned heavily on his young superstar, Andrew Luck, and the rest of the team wilted under his glory, only the Bengals defence putting up more than 10 points. No superstars for BB, just solid performances getting the job done: Bradshaw, Bernard and Steve Smith the primary cast with Brady having another down game. When will the Brady we love to watch step forward?

Agent P (88) def Marcy (76)

The surprise for Marcy is that of all the players you'd expect to have an average game it was Rashard Jennings who did the best, and everyone else mostly sucked. Cam Newton, the Panthers D, Jimmy Graham, Eddie Lacy: all MIA for another week. Does Marcy keep hoping for the studs to show up or start posting names on the Cut List (the cut, the easiest part of the job)? Conventional wisdom says you keep at least Graham. Agent P was led by the Julio Jones riding high on the Falcons mammoth win. Kaep had his highest score of the season, despite losing the game, and Stacy ran hard. All promising signs for the secret agent platypus.

Farnsworths (87) def Doof (66)

Eh, who cares.

Oh fine. My team sucked, sucked so hard. OMG my TE scored the most points! Coming into the game I was 6-0 against the Farnsworth's and am STILL upset about the Farnsworth's beating me in the AFL Supercoach Grand Final last year. There is history! But the Farnsworth's were led by the excellent Matt Ryan, 23 points before 3/4 quarter time: would have been 30+ if he'd been allowed to play the whole game! So dominant. Tucker and Cruz were great, again, but Martin put up 0. When the Farnsworth's play a decent opposition (Zim in Week4, much better than the Lighties or Doof) he'll need a healthy complement, and Martin ain't healthy.

Week 3: Interlude

Monday Night Football is my favourite time of the week. Get home from work, have a tasty meal and watch the football. Usually I can fit two games into my schedule, last night I did three, but not without paying for it today *yawn*. But there was no way I was missing the Superbowl rematch, the last quarter and a bit was great football. The old Manning and the young Wilson - two stud players duking it out. Both QB's final drives of the game were stand out performances and I totally recommend watching them if you can.

The same cannot be said of the Packers @ Detroit game or the Raiders @ Patriots game. Ugh, not as interesting as they should have been. And totally blowing my fantasy team for the week: BOOOOOO!

But looking at the scores I'm not the only one in the BOOOOO category - although maybe the worst as the scores stand at the moment. I'm losing to the Farnsworth's! I'm 6-0 against the Farnsworth's!

SHAME!

Following MNF is Tuesday Night Football: FOOTBALL!!!

One great thing about football is it brings families together, father-son time is to be cherished:

Week 3: Match-ups

Thursday Night Football is under way, Buccaneers @ Falcons. Two teams performing badly, could be interesting. But it is but an entree to a bevy of awesome games on Sunday/Monday - Super Bowl replay, Broncos @ Seahawks; 49ers @ Cardinals; Raves @ Browns; Steelers @ Panthers... can't wait.

And as the football pays out so too does VP3. So let's take a look at how everyone is set for the week.

Breesus (89) v Endless (68)

Can Endless break Bressus' two-game winning streak and return the aholy figure back to the realm of mortals? The projections don't think so. Breesus is starting with a two-Tight End set, with both Olsen and Gates. A risky move? Endless will need to swap out Charles if she wants any chance of taking down Breesus - Charles injured his ankle last week and is very unlikely to suit up.

Zim (84) v Lighties (94)

The Lighties as usual will be pinning their dreams on Manning - and why not, except for the Super Bowl last year he was amazing and that's not likely to happen again... oh wait, Super Bowl rematch. Has Manning learned his lesson? Can he follow in River's footsteps and beat Sherman down the field? Maybe Zim will heap the dooooom upon his stalwart efforts - Zim is sporting the Seahawks defence so it is the perfect match-up. Zim will also need to replace Ingram who is injured.

Brady (81) v The General (81)

Perfectly balanced projections don't always lead to close games, but on paper the teams match up well. Brady v Luck - the old versus the new: both struggling a little this year but both against terrible teams this week. Just what the both needed. Two strong defences, Texans v Bengals. Foster v Forte, Fitzgerald v Johnson. Brady may need to swap out Vernon Davis who is injured.

Agent P (114) v Marcy (115)

Another super-close match-up against two well balanced teams. Marcy made sweeping changes to her line-up and will be looking to feast on all the red coming from Agent P this week (look it up people, this Vampire Queen eats the colour red, not blood. Don't be so gross!). Agent P needs to add a Defence to her starting line-up.

Farnsworths (89) v Doof's Playinators (103)

Ravaged by injury last week the Farnsworth's will be hoping that the team is well rested and ready to go. Three zeroes, two injuries on the day and one player pulled at game-time. And lost by 0.4 points. Why couldn't that have happened this week? For Doof, the two Tight End set has been replaced, as have the Titans Defence. Go Eagles! Eagles? WTF did I pick them... ah damn it. Stupid D-Line. Here's hoping the Washington QB2 sucks hard against the Eagles and throws a heap of interceptions - that's my gamble for the week.

Any one else making gambles and crossing fingers for Week 3?

Week 3: Planning your team

Time to move past Week 2 and look to Week 3. Loads of player movements already going on but if you're wondering about whether to bench or start then maybe these articles can help. Or just add to the general confusion of fantasy planning.

There were loads of injuries in Week 2, so it pays to check the roster and see what's going on. The Farnsworths will definitely need to make some moves after posting three zeros. Notable injuries include Jamaal Charles, Ryan Matthews and RG3.

Start em or Sit em: QBs
Start em or Sit em: RBs
Start em or Sit em: WRs
Start em or Sit em: TEs
Start em or Sit em: Kickers
Start em or Sit em: Defence

Top 11 Sleepers

If you are looking over your roster and want to know more about a player just click on their name or face and their profile will pop-up. The profile will say whether the player is injured, starting and what their points per week have been like:

Endless owns Charles and will need to swap him out for Week 3. As the note says, he has a high ankle sprain and won't play this week, probably not for a couple of weeks. 

The Farnsworth's will need to keep AP on the bench as he is not due back anytime soon because of his, ahem, legal issues:

The Lighties beautiful QB is an obvious starter, look at that consistency: 22 and then 21 points. But the bye is in Week 4 so he'll need to swapped for Week 4's action.

Thankfully (for Agent P) the Lighties have Tony Romo as their back-up QB and can readily swap Manning for Romo:

Oooh, 9 and 11 in two weeks, maybe the Lighties need to look at Free Agency for a different back-up? Kirk Cousins could be ideal if he performs well in Week 3. Big IF though.

Week 2: Award ceremony

It's Award time, but the awards themselves are STILL not ready yet. Too much time spend watching games and playing Madden and not making awards. For shame!

Hypnotoad Award 

For putting up the most points

The Hypnotoad Award is named for the Hypnotoad, renowned for mesmerising his enemies and compelling them to do his bidding. 

Week 2 saw only two Coaches score over 100 points: Zim cracked it for the first time time but the big scorer was Breesus King of the Drews. 

Breesus posted 114 points, flogging the General and looking like the team to beat, again. 

Mission Accomplished

For leaving the most points on the bench in a losing side

The Mission Accomplished Award is named for the 2003 speech given by George W Bush announcing that the Iraq war was basically over and then sitting back and waiting for the kudos to come in. Instead of kudos, 11 years and now ISIS. 

Congratulations to Doof for leaving 60 points on the bench in a losing side. Yay me!

Looking at the list on Sunday night I noted that Marshall was questionable due to an injury. Not wanting to post a 0 I swapped him out and did some major re-arranging: the first double-Tight End starters for the season. How did it end up? My key RB dislocated his elbow, Marshall played and did very well, Vereen was essentially benched by the fantasy-football hating coach of the Patriots, the Falcons suck and the Defence didnt bother. In other words, this is everyone's fault but mine!

Week 2: Wash-up

Week 2, man, feels so long ago already. I've been scouring the Week 3 action but it's time to go back and see what happened.

Somewhat uncannily the league win-loss column looks remarkably like the NFL win-loss column. Breesus stands out with 2-0, Marcy keeps the rear at 0-2 and everyone else is kickin' it at 1-1.

Lights (74.5) def Farnsworths (74.1)

Ouch! 0.4 points is no way to lose a football game. Especially after smartly compensating for AP being suspended and putting West in the starting RB slot. Well played! Too bad Martin and Green and Cameron all dropped donuts. Three zeros and STILL nearly beat the Lighties. But the Lighties had their own issues with terrible numbers: thank Breesus for Peyton Manning under centre: the rock. The first round draft pick certainly earned his spot.

Breesus (114) def The General (91)

The Championship Game rematch looked remarkable like the Championship Game, if I recall correctly. Close on paper and then Breesus did his magic thing and three days later emerged with a big win. Picking a RB that is interested in scoring points is hard, only 1 of the Generals 3 bothered trying.

Zim (104) def Marcy (84)

Big 200-yard game from Jordy Nelson and solid performance from Foles saw Zim run away with this one. Jimmy Graham excelled, as usual, for Marcy but big changes are on the cards for that team to rise up.

Agent P (95) def Bradybrothers (86)

The Hurns experiment lasted one week and after a miserable 1.4 points the rookie WR has been delisted by BB. Bernard and Foster put up good numbers but the rest coasted. Maybe speak to Zim about training methods to whip those players into shape? Then again, given last years results, maybe not. Agent P had a team full of solid performances with no standouts whatsoever. Team work can be over-rated in the age of the superstar.

Endless (90) def Doof (78)

That being said, sometimes having 1 or 2 superstars is all it takes to win, and Endless can thank Bryant for showing up in Week 2 and Sproles for starting 2014 like a boss. Apart from Rodgers, Doof's team looks like a desert, miles and miles of nothing. Megatron turned in a bad game, the only one he's allowed this year.

Week 2: Match-ups

Week 2 - chance to redeem from a loss and a chance to humble an opposition. Can the games best players please show up and give us some lovin'!

Lighties (77) v Farnsworth (91)

The Farnsworth's had a solid win over a depleted Marcy in Week 1 and start favourites in Week 2. We all know what happened to the Lighties last week, they had the game sealed until the number two draft pick took to the field in Monday Night Football and scorched em. Both teams needs their studs to stand up and take charge, like the studs they are. Farnsworth's may want to swap Martin out and replace him with West.

The General (97) v Breesus (74)

It's the 2013 Championship Game rematch and The General will be keen to make amends. If Week 1 is any indication this could be a super-close game, as both sides were within 1 point of each other. The projection has the General way in front, but look to Breesus to gain some mystical insight and make some late team changes to even the scores.

Marcy (71) v Zim (80)

Marcy's first game was a fizzer with her star QB sidelined for the game. But Newton should be back in Week 2 to provide those much needed 20 points. A bevy of Did Not Practice icons may give her pause, but each player should still suit up on Sunday. Zim has a reasonable projection despite stud's Lynch and the Seahawks having low projections. The Chargers, the 'Hawks opposition, are rated too highly in my opinion and both should perform much better than their projections indicate. Looking at Foles to bounce back and put in a four-quarter effort this week.

Agent P (89) v Bradysbrothers (83)

The platypus with the fedora had a slow start to the season with her star players all but taking the week off. The projection thinks that should change this week - you cant keep a good stud down. Meanwhile, Bradysbrothers was off to a flying start, topping the scoring and beating Zim. The newbie is taking a huge gamble this week on the Jaguars rookie, Hurns, who is so green he doesn't even have a projection. His first two catches in the NFL went for touchdowns, BB will be hoping lighting does strike twice.

Endless (78) v Doof (78)

Doof got away with one in Week 1 when Megatron single handedly beat down the Lighties (can't let than go). And Doof will need another big game from the big man to get over the line in Week 2. Some positive points from the defence would be nice too. Endless lost a close one to the General last week and posted a good score despite poor performances from Charles and Bryant. If these two can fire then Doof may be toast. Endless may have wanted to swap Ellington for Bell, but with Bell already in play it is too late to make that change. Hopkins for Ellington might have to do.

Week 2: Planning your team

Time to look ahead to Week 2 and make sure the right players are in the right spots. As usual there is plenty of help around the place:

Start em or Sit em: QBs
Start em or Sit em: RBs
Start em or Sit em: WRs
Start em or Sit em: TEs
Start em or Sit em: Kickers
Start em or Sit em: Defence

Top 11 Sleepers
Mailbag: RB worries

And of course there is your own research using the Fantasy tools.

I've got a problem with my Defence. I didn't like the Bills Def that I drafted - no particular reason, I just don't trust the Bills. I took a shot hoping that the Saints Def would be better. They were reasonable last year and should have gotten better in the off-season. Sometimes it doesn't pay to know much about NFL: I got completely torched. But I could have known better, their Projection for Week 1 was 2 points, posting -1 wasn't far off. I chose to ignore the Fantasy Projection and follow my gut. Stupid gut!

So, looking ahead to Week 2, I head over to the Players tab at the VP3 Fantasy site and select DEF.
I then change the Status to All Players. The first screen shows me the points to date for all teams and who the teams are owned by. Owned by FA means they are immediately available via Free Agency:

The Vikings topped out Week 1 with an impressive 22 points, followed by Texans and 49ers. Looking at the Owner column, no one owns two of the top 3 teams from Week 1. 

Looking past is useful, as the season goes on we'll see how each Def or player has performed week in and week out. But lets look ahead, click on the Projections tab. You can see that the Packers are owned by W - Waivers. This is because I only just dumped them this morning and now there is a 24 hour purgatory period:

The Broncos and Redskins are both projected to score the highest points in Week 2. Endless owns the Broncos (lucky Coach) but the Skins Def is available. I note that the stupid Bills are ranked third. Whatevs. There is not much separating the projections and there are a lot available.

I refuse to pick the Bills on principle now, and the Saints have now and forever proven disloyalty as well. Now I'm going to head over to the Start End or Sit Em column and the 11 Sleepers column and see what the 'experts' are saying.

I've decided to go with the Titans. It started with what Adam Rank said in the Sleepers column: the Titan's are playing the Cowboys and the Cowboys gave up a lot of points to the 49ers last week. Also, the Titan's did very last week against the Chiefs. Good last week, against a poor opponent this week: I'll buy in.

Why not the Redskins - they are ranked 2nd? The Redskins did quite poorly last week against an average opponent and this week are playing Oakland. Oakland is not a good side, but they didn't give up many points to their opposition last week. It's a balancing act.

I've swapped out the Saints for the Titans (via a rather uncertain 12 hours while I had the Packers, before deciding against it).

Until sometime on Monday I'll be hoping I made the right call, and thinking I probably messed up. Again. Stupid Bills and Saints!

Week 1: NFL Highlights

The good:
Top 5 Throws

Top 5 Runs

Top 5 Catches

Primetime


The bad:
In March video was released on TMZ that showed Ravens Running Back Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiance out of an elevator at a hotel. He was charged with assault but was put into a program instead of jail. The NFL umm'd and ahhh'd about how to deal with him and eventually suspended him for 2 weeks. That decision was massively criticised by, well, everyone. A player in Denver can get 6 weeks for possession of weed, which is legal in Denver, but Rice can beat his fiance and get 2 weeks?

The NFL came out 2 weeks ago with a new domestic violence policy, 6 weeks for the first offense and indefinite for a repeat. The NFL admitted it made a massive mistake and vowed to be better.

 On Monday TMZ released footage of the elevator that showed Rice knocking his fiance out cold with a devastating punch to the head. It's cold and brutal and hard to watch. Rice was immediately dropped by the Ravens and then indefinitely suspended by the NFL.

Apparently neither the NFL nor the Ravens had seen the footage before. Word is that Rice and his fiance downplayed the incident, made out like Rice was defending himself against a psycho. The elevator footage completely belies that.

The NFL took Rice and his fiance at their word and paid a huge PR price for it. Now the truth is known Rice is paying a huge price for it. Deservedly so. The Raven's coach and players have been interviewed and are understanding confused. They wanted to believe their friend, but he beat his partner and lied to them.

There is a lot of commentary about this on the interwebs, it is worth following to see how a mega-organisation like the NFL deals with domestic violence. It will make its way to our shores, how will the AFL or NRL react?

Week 1: Award Ceremony

It's Award time, but the awards themselves are not ready yet. So I'll announce the winners and present the awards later.

Hypnotoad Award 

For putting up the most points

The Hypnotoad Award is named for the Hypnotoad, renowned for mesmerising his enemies and compelling them to do his bidding. 

In Week 1 there was one Head Coach that stood out and looked like he'd been playing for years, not like his first game in his rookie season: Bradysbrothers.

Bradysbrothers posted 115.66 points in his first game, mesmerising Zim and avoiding the Doomydooms that were coming his way. Congratulations on topping Week 1!

Mission Accomplished

For leaving the most points on the bench in a losing side

The Mission Accomplished Award is named for the 2003 speech given by George W Bush announcing that the Iraq war was basically over and then sitting back and waiting for the kudos to come in. Instead of kudos, 11 years and now ISIS. 

Congratulations to Endlessnessism for setting her Active side and thinking it was the bomb. Endless lost by 3 points but left a massive 88 points on the bench. 

The Mission Accomplished Award is rather cruel, as befitting its origin. How was Endless to know that Bell would put up 25 points and Charles 3? Or Dez Bryant 5 and DeAndre Hopkins 15?  And Dalton's 18 points on the bench cannot replace Stafford's 30.

But it's not like Week 1 last year when a certain Head Coach left Peyton Manning on the bench, for Dalton, and Manning put up 50 points. FIFTY! That, and the rest of the bench, was 109 pints on the bench. I won't name names, but it's on the record...

Week 1: Wash-up

Week 1 is in the books and with it we have five winners and five Head Coaches going home with Participation ribbons.

The NFL offered plenty of Week 1 drama, teams winning on the road, play-off favourites losing, huge come-back wins, and the Dallas Cowboys - a drama in their own right.

And in Fantasy-land there were plenty of booms and busts. Favourites Jamaal Charles, Dez Bryant, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Larry Fitzgerald: all busts. And Cam Newton who didnt bother to play at all, costing Marcy dearly.

But then there were the booms: Calvin Johnson(!!!!), Matt Ryan, Matthew Stafford, and the Texans Defense.

For the Participation earners this week: most fantasy studs played poor games. Keep the faith for another week and see if they can bounce back. Some tinkering around the edges may be useful, but no one needs drastic action.

Zim (90) v Bradysbrothers (115)

Welcome to VP3, Bradybrothers! Opening their account with a big W and the highest score of the round, the newcomer was led by Julius Thomas, the TE posted 28 points catching 3 TDs from Peyton Manning. Following close behind were the Texans Defense, posting 20 pints, largely due to the epic performance of JJ Watt. Foster, Fitzgerald and Brady all had down games but should bounce back.

Zim posted a decent 90 points, being led by Lynch's Beast Mode with 24 points. His performance in the opening game was impressive: take a look. Additionally, the Gronk put up 10, playing only half a game and the Seahawks 8. Foles was down a bit, throwing some early interceptions but rebounded strongly and still looks a certain starter. Despite the loss, Zim can take plenty away from Week 1. Ingram for Tate may be a good swap for Week 2.

Breesus (99) v Agent P (66)

Returning to his winning ways Breesus posted a big win over Agent P, for whom nothing went right.

Breesus had no real stand out performers, but eeked out 6 decent scores to make the sum of the parts respectable. With a decent running game, Brees was limited in his TD action keeping his score low. DeMarco Murray showed why he should be getting more of the ball, posting 18 points in a terrible team performance (the Cowboys).

Agent P has plenty of good players, but like the [not so] Mighty Tigers none were bale to stand up when it mattered. Led by Kaepernick with 17 points, Stacy, Thomas and Witten all sucked hard, and the Rams barely made the field. Like Zim, Agent P may want to give it another week before making too many changes, it remains a star-studded line-up.

However, Agent P will definitely want to trade Ray Rice for someone that passes as a member of the human race. Rice was dumped by the Ravens and suspended indefinitely by the NFL - he won't be back this season. I'll post more on that later.

Farnsworths (82) v Marceline the Vampire Queen (66)

One thing that was apparent in this week NFL action: the lucky team wins. Hello Farnsworths. Lucky on two counts: Matt Ryan put in a blistering performance, hitting 31 points. 448 passing yards and 3 TDs - he led the Falcons to over-time victory against the Saints in an impressive performance. And that led to the Farnsworth's also beating Marcy. The rest of the Farnsworth's were asleep at the wheel, even Peterson posted 9 points in a lacklustre display.

Lucky on the second count, Marcy's QB didn't suit up because of injury. If Cam Newton had played it's likely he would have gone at least 20 points and then Marcy is the winner: que sera, sera. But Newton should be back in Week 2 and the rest of Marcy's squad looks ok, like the others, a little tinkering around the edges maybe.

Marcy will need to watch out of Lacy who was concussed. He may not line-up in Week 2 and may want to swap him for either Jackson or Miller.

Endless (97) v US Forces (100)

The General got away with one, winning by a tiny 3 points: but a wins a win. Led by Luck with 26 points, the General had a team of reasonable performers that all contributed. All but Jordan Reed. Washington was woeful on Sunday and all their players sucked. Whether that continues is anyones guess and Reed may be worth continuing for another week.

Endless came oh so close to opening with a W - Stafford played an outstanding game of football and should be a leader for Endless all year. Charles and Bryant should bounce back after down games. LeVeon Bell showed that he is ready to play with 25 points on the bench and may be worth putting in the Flex spot for week 2.

Doof (113) v Illuminators (99)

"Calvin Johnson's a dick" was how I was greeted by my friend Tuesday morning. Thank you, number 1 draft pick - watch the first catch in this video - so good! And then the second - OMG! Calvin Johnson for God 2016! 28 points, plus 11 to RB Joique Bell and Doof came from behind to steal the game.

In case you ever wonder whether you should take my advice or not: Saints Defense scored -1. Minus One. Bills Defense that I intentionally traded away: 8. Fantasy genius. See Matt Ryan, above, for what happened to the Saints. And take everything I say with a hefty dose of salt.

The Lighties lucked out at the last minute but had four solid performers and five average performers. Peyton Manning was outstanding on the field but only put up 22 points. The 49ers killed the Cowboys, I wouldn't expect that to continue week on week. DJax and the Redskins were not good, not sure how that is going to play out in future weeks. Interesting that the two Jets RBs put up 31 points between them - not often you see that. Running Back By Committee indeed.

Waiting most IMpatiently

Cue elevator music because that's how Friday afternoon is. There was a game. THE game. It's over. But I MUST watch it tonight without knowing any results. So here are some interesting escapist tidbits to fill the expanse from now until tonight:

Interesting piece on how huge rule changes in 1994 completely changed the NFL and propelled it to being the biggest game in the US. In essence, the NFL protected the quarterback and the receivers and turned it from a defence league into an offensive one. Smart move: offence is fun, defence is boring. At the time the NFL faced fierce opposition and accusations they were ruining the game: the end is nigh! Didn't quite work like that. Coupled with a salary cap and free agency the league has blossomed. The AFL could take a hint or two, especially regarding free agency. Players ability to move around and teams ability to trade them around is critically important. Have a hole: plug the hole: move on. The criticisms about Buddy moving to Sydney instead of Melbourne are stupid: if Melbourne hadn't already screwed up their salary cap through incompetence they could have, and should have, offered Buddy more. Plenty of pro-sports people move to loser teams for a payday: G. Ablett Jnr for example, or LeBron heading back to the Cavs. The problem isn't loser teams having less to offer, it's shocking management that means Melbourne Demons have hit their salary cap with 42 losers, while Sydney can exploit their situation and probably walk away with this years Flag. Who's stupid now?

Moving along...

For something completely different, the story of a guy that tries to weird things in the Madden games. In the first attempt in Madden 15 he attempts to beat the all-time sack record of 210 sacks: but rather than do that over a career, he is doing it in Clowney's first ever game. Can the Number 1 draft pick get 210 sacks in  single game? When you set the offensive line to be jockeys and make Clowney to be a demi-god then anything can happen:

Finally, technology is trying to reduce the human based fuckups of sports. Video review, laser guidance and now magnetic transmitters. The magnetic transmitter is placed in the ball and receivers around the field can detect the location and orientation of the ball. It's not perfect yet, but it's getting better.

Week 1: Match-ups

Week 1: it all starts here. Teams full of vanilla, healthy players with no 2014 history and only glory ahead. Well, glory AND shame. But no shame at this point. How long will it take until the shame sets in? Perhaps BradysBrothers, new for the 2014 season, have already experienced some shame with Wes Welker being suspended for 4 games for a drugs violation. If only it was AFL and then we still wouldnt know whether Welker should be suspended or not for another 2 years. But its NFL and the traitor [lost superbowls AND went to Manning from Brady] is GUILTY!

Perhaps Agent P, my arch nemesis, has experienced some shame for drafting the wife-beater? For shame!

But for the rest of us, only glory so far.

LET IT BEGIN:

Endless (89) v US Forces (91)

The General marched hard last year, waging a terrifying ground war against all and sundry.  But just like a European general marching towards Moscow, the General fell perilously close to the objective, losing the Championship Game to Breesus. But, as any war strategist will tell you, it doesn't matter how good your offence is (Andrew Luck), if you can't cover your ass it's all over. The General's ass is exposed, his entire Defence is Missing In Action.

Endless meanwhile will be looking to start fresh in 2014 and with the 1, 2, 3, 4 flurry of punches from Stafford, Charles, Bryant and kicker Crosby she certainly has the fire power to do so.

Farnsworth's (98) v Marceline the Vampire Queen (92)

Retaining the default team icon, and openly spitting in the faces of his friends, Farnsworth has declared that he is not bowing to anyone this year and will do what he wants, when he wants. That sort of open arrogance, hubris if you will, needs to be backed up with some strong team performances. Farnsworth has the potential to do so, Ryan, Peterson, Green and Jackson are all potent weapons - bright glory or deep shame, Farnsworth knows no inbetween.

Making her VP3 debut, Marceline the Vampire Queen has a strong team, the only question mark being Newton at QB. He has performed well the last few seasons but is coming off ankle surgery only a few weeks ago and has a depleted receiver corps. Time will tell whether Newton is glory or shame bound. But with Jimmy Graham, Lacy, Jeffrey and Allen on the starting line-up, Marcy looks bright in Week 1.

Zim (101) v Bradysbrothers (86)

Moving away from the QB merry-go-round (sans the merry) will make life easier for Zim in 2014. Foles should post great numbers this year, and with Marshawn Lynch hitting Beast Mode early, supported by a healthy Gronk [gods willing] and Nelson and Coopoer, Zim should be a points powerhouse. The General should take note of Zim's defence, the Seahawks, and weep in shame of not drafting the Legion of Boom.

The second new team for 2014, Bradysbrothers, will be looking for early glory with favourite son, Tom Brady, under center. As Zim can attest, his onfield heroics do not always translate well to fantasy points. But with the support of Foster, Bernard, Fitzgerald and Hauscka, the Bros should not struggle for points. The paradox of Brady and Welker may result in the end of the world, but word is the Lighties will probably beat them to it anyway so there is no real concern.

Breesus (79) v Agent P (90)

It's the 2013 World Champions versus a platypus in a fedora. But this platypus is also a secret agent with a secret lair filled with traps and computers and things. How can a sacrilegious, aholy figure possible compete with that? By starting Drew Brees, Murray, Bush, Cobb and the Cardinals defence.

But the platypus is no slouch, Kaep, McCoy, Stacy, Thomas and the Rams. This secret agent is packing serious heat.

Lighties (110) v Doof (88)

Agent P and Doofenschmirtz may be arch-nemesis, but when it comes to on-field competition it doesn't get much fiercer that the Illuminators versus the Playinators: it's always personal.

The Lighties drafted Manning in round 1 against Doof's Rodgers. DJax v Megatron. Harvin v that hack Crabtree. Saints v 49ers. Skynet projects the Lighties blowing Doof out of the water, but the games don't usually end up that way. No matter what happens, the Head Coaches are guaranteed to let everyone know exactly what happened.

Week 1 schedule

Kick off for the 2014 NFL season is about 24 hours away. It is customary for the Super Bowl champion to host the opening game, although last year was an exception. But in 2014 it is back to normal.

On Thursday night US time, Seattle Seahawks (reigning World Champions) host the Green Bay Packers. This equates to somewhere between 10am and 1pm Friday morning AEST.

These two teams last met in Seattle two years ago. The game had one of the all-time amazing endings that in typical US sport fashion was given a name: Fail Mary II. On the last play of the game Wilson threw a Hail Mary pass into the endzone that was caught simultaneously by a receiver and a defender. It was called a touchdown on the field by replacement referees (actual ref's were on strike at the time) and Seattle won the game. Who should have had possession is one of those arguments for the ages but conventional theory (outside Seattle) is the Packers defender had possession and it was THE WORST CALL OF ALL TIME.

So much drama!

Following Thursday nights game there is a two day hiatus until Sunday. Sunday is the traditional day for NFL and all but 2 games will be played at 1pm, 4:15pm and then the big Sunday night game at 8:30pm. Two games are then played Monday night.

The Sunday games equate to between 4am and 1pm Monday, and the Monday games are about 10am Tuesday.

For fantasy, Head Coaches can make changes to their line-ups up to kick off of the game the player is playing. The game apps will show you when game time is.

My recommendation, if you have players in the Thursday night game, sort them out Thursday night our time. Then fix your line-up Sunday night before you head to bed to take care of the rest of the games.

How does an NFL-Junky get by with games being played at horrible US times? An NFL-Junky ignores all NFL scores, news and media through the day, including fantasy. Then when the NFL-Junky gets home on Friday night, Monday night and Tuesday night he watches the games without knowing the result. How does he achieve such a feat in a 24/7 news world? Willpower, luck, and if any apps dare show him a score before he wants to know the app is immediately removed so it cannot hurt him again (looking at you NY Times telling me the Giants beat the Packers in the 2012 Divisional Game).

Weekly support: Week 1

For the intrepid explorer there is a mountain of Fantasy advice to climb over each week. To reach base camp, start with Start Em or Sit Em. These short articles offer thoughtful predictions of how a player may perform against his weekly opposition.

If you have a quarterback competition like mine it won't offer much support: Rodgers or Wilson? Both are effectively certain starters. Same for the Lighties: Peyton Manning is a must-start player. But if you're Agent P with both Kaep and Rivers, then this weeks QB article suggests that Kaep is the better start over Rivers based on who each QB is playing. Good advice? I don't think that is the right question. Does it assuage your fears about starting the wrong QB? Maybe.

Quarterbacks
Running Backs
Wide Receivers
Tight Ends
Defense
Kickers

Want to climb higher up the fantasy advice mountain?

Peruse some of the other articles and sections at nfl.com. There are plenty of videos to watch to give interesting advice.

Or try the Bleacher Report.

Updating your roster

So you've pushed and pulled and done some hard drinking thinking sessions, but no matter what, your active players and benched players just don't add up: the time has come for different players.

There are two ways you can replace your current duds with some new studs: trade with another player and free agency.

Trade

See someone sitting on someone else's bench who is better than your starter? Offer a trade.

Let's use Doof's Playinator's as an example as their Running Back stocks are thin, and that is putting it nicely (poor drafting if you ask me)!

The Head Coach can look around the VP3 league and see if there are any decent RB's on other teams. Ahuh: Marceline the Vampire Queen is sitting on Steven Jackson. But does Doof have something that Marcy might accept in return? Marcy's team is tight, possible studs in every position. The only question mark is her QB: Cam Newton. Cam might be awesome this year, or he might suck. The analysts are not sure and at Week 1 there is no way to know. But Doof is sitting on Russell Wilson, maybe Marcy would trade Steven Jackson for Wilson? WTF? There is no way that Doof is going to offer that trade - Wilson's value to Doof, on the bench, is higher than Jackson's points potential. As long as Doof has both Rodgers and Wilson as QBs he is going to be of two-minds every week, not knowing which QB stud to start. The QB competition will drive him crazy, but he won't give it up. Not yet.

Doof can keep looking at the other teams and try to find a suitable trade partner. Maybe Endless would trade Darren Sproles for Michael Bennett? Maybe not.

Or Doof can move to Free Agency.

Free Agency

All the players that are not currently on a roster are still available. Head Coaches can swap their drafted players for undrafted players at pretty much any time they like, with a few exceptions.

Clicking on the Players tab will show the list of available players. The list can be filtered to show All Players (including those on teams) or just Available. The list can be filtered to show each position. You can see the Players stats and their projections. Before Week 1 there are no stats, only projections.

Doof needs a new Running Back - but before Week 1 there is really no one in Free Agency that Doof is willing to select. The draft assigned all the top RBs to teams, and the second stringers, and some of the third stringers. The RBs that are left are no better than the one's Doof has.

However, RBs are not Doof's only problem. The draft allocated Doof the Buffalo Bills defence. According to the projections the Bills have a good change to score some good points. But Doof does not trust Skynet with its pro-Bills projection. Instead, having read plenty of Fantasy news, Doof is eyeing off the New Orleans Saints. They are not projected as highly, but when has convention stopped Doof in 2014?

Doof makes the trade, adding the NO Saints and dropping the Buffalo Bills. A strange message appears, something about a waiver wire. Clicking back on his team Doof sees that the Bills are still there. WTF? Skynet?! And this stupid message just under that adorable portrait:

Team Notes

• Pending Waiver Claim: New Orleans Saints for Buffalo Bills pending until the morning of Wednesday, September 3, 2014 [ Delete Waiver Request ]

Waivers

For the first 1-2 days after the Week finishes (and in this case after the Draft finished) Free Agency Players are effectively in purgatory. They are just floating around not doing anything and can not be immediately selected and added to a team. When Doof adds the Saints to his team he tells the Gatekeeper of Purgatory that he wants the Saints. The Gatekeeper makes a note of the request and sits tight. He doesn't respond to Doof's glares, stomping around, shaking of fists, pouting, threats and eventual tears. 

Another Coach, Agent P, approaches the Gatekeeper. Not happy with the Rams she also looks to add the Saints and gives the request to the Gatekeeper. There are now two requests for one Defence, but it can only go to one team. Doof v Agent P: locked in their perpetual struggle. 

After 1-2 days the Gatekeeper opens the gates and releases the Free Agency players to the world. He checks the notes, Doof's note says he has Waiver 9, Agent P has Waiver 6. 

Because Agent P is higher up the Waiver list than Doof the NO Saints are assigned to her and Doof goes home with the Bills (and a furrowed brow).

Why is Agent P higher? Because when the draft allocated the picking order Doof received Pick 2 and Agent P received Pick 5. To make it fairer, because Doof did well in the Draft order he lucks out in the Waiver wire. Swings and roundabouts.

The Waiver system is designed to make things fairer. Every Head Coach has the chance to select a player after the Week has finished. The Head Coach with the highest Waiver will go home with the goods. After the Waiver period is over it is a free for all and the Free Agency Players will be added immediately. 

Identifying players on Waiver

When you look at the Players list you will see who owns the player. It may say Doof's Playinator's, Agent P or W (Sep 3). A W indicates that the player is in Waiver Purgatory and the date indicates the date he will be released. You can select the player, but you have to wait for the Waiver period to end before you know whether you get him or not.

The date is ET time, New York so the real time (AEST) is a little unknown.

In my example, Agent P swaps the Rams for the Saints. The Rams are now available to be selected in Free Agency. Doof swoops down on them greedily, Agent P's cast-offs are still better than the Bills!

But again Doof is thwarted: the Rams are now in Waiver Purgatory. A cast-off player will sit in Waivers for 24 hours, allowing all Head Coaches to express an interest. No one else wants the Rams because everyone else is already stocked. 24 hours later Doof goes home with the Rams and the Bills head to Waiver Purgatory.

Next week we'll look at reading the stats sheets.

Managing the roster

So you've got your seven skilled starters, your kicker, your defense and your six players on the bench. They are all ready to go. Now what?

Between the Draft and Week 1 there are two things to do: check your active and benched roster and check the players that were left behind. In this post we'll consider managing the active roster.

Active v benched

The system has automatically put your best players in the active spots and left your second best players on the bench. But that is the AI, and who trusts skynet? Moving active and benched players around is your right as Head Coach. There are many reasons why you might move players around: like/dislike of a certain player, how the player matches up in real life, how they match up in fantasy, or just a gut feeling.

Let's look at Breesus v Agent P for some inspiration. In the Game Center we can see each teams players, the players projected points and the teams projected points. Game Center projects this game to be a close one, Breesus 127.9 v 125 for Agent P.

Agent P's roster is tight. Kaep is currently her starting QB and her backup QB is Rivers. Kaep's projected score is 25 vs Rivers of 18. According to the AI she should start Kaep. Kaepernick is playing the Dallas Cowboys (@DAL) while Rivers is playing Arizona (@ARI). As an NFL-junkie I know that the Cowboys defense is not rated as highly as the Arizona Cardinals defense, so it is more likely that Kaep will play well against the opposition that Rivers will as he has an 'easier' defense to play against. But how does a non-NFL-junkie now that?

We can open up the Research tab and then look at Fantasy Points Against. This tab gives us the breakdown of how well different positions perform against defenses. Let's look at Cowboys vs QB and Cardinals vs QB. The Cowboys v QB gave up on average 21 points to a QB in 2013. The Cardinals gave up on average 16 points to a QB. I want the higher rating for my QB so I'm going to pick the QB vs the Cowboys.

My crystal ball says that Agent P has the right starting quarterback.

Looking down Agent P's list there is a mismatch. In the Flex spot she has Ryan Matthews with a projection of 6.5. But on her bench she has TY Hilton with a projection of 12.3 and Brian Hartline with a projection of 12.1. She could swap Hilton or Hartline for Matthews and increase her projected score by 6 points, putting her team projection over that of Breesus. Should she?

Using the same logic we can check to see whether Hilton, Hartline or Matthews is the better option.

Matthews first. Fantasy Points Against - Cardinals vs Running Backs has an average of 11.
Hilton plays WR for the Colts and they are playing the Broncos, so FPA has Broncos DEF vs WRs as 24.
Finally, Hartline. WR for Miami versus the Patriots. Patriots DEF vs WRs is 21 points.

On face value you'd select TY Hilton. But, neither Hilton or Hartline are the primary receivers for their teams. Their QBs have other options to throw to. Hilton has to travel to Denver to play there (@DEN) while Miami is playing at home (NE). Does home field advantage make a difference?

AND these stats are for last year. How has the Cardinals, Denver and New England defense changed in the off-season?

Most of these questions don't have answers before Week 1 starts. It's all just guess work, going with the gut and hoping you're right.

In this case the AI projection is most likely where you pin your gut: TY Hilton. Although Denver is a tough match-up Hilton is a star receiver and is more likely to score points than the other two.

My crystal ball recommends Agent P swap Ryan Matthews for TY Hilton.

Let's look at Breesus. As the reigning World Champion Breesus needs as little assistance as possible, but let's analyse his team anyway.

The first thing to notice is there is no QB competition here, only one QB on the roster. Breesus will need one eventually, the NO Saints have a bye in week 6. But Breesus will pick up a QB off Free Agency to cover that gap (I'll cover this in the next post). Provided Breesus stays healthy for the year he is a guaranteed starter week in and week out.

There is one gap in the roster, Anquan Boldin has a projection of 14 compared to the two starting WRs that are 12.6 and 12.7. Is it worth swapping one of them? Pierre Garcon (12.6) is playing the Houston Texans and Randall Cobb (12.7) is playing the Seattle Seahawks.

FPA for the Texans v WRs is 18.6. For the Seahawks its 14.25 and for the Cowboys, who Boldin is playing, it is 24. Based on this you might consider starting Boldin in place of Cobb.

But Breesus knows this is risky - any one of those WRs could be good on the day, any one could suck. In Week 1 it is harder to know than normal.

If Breesus did put Boldin in the game then he is faced with a supporter conundrum: for Boldin to score points he needs his QB to score points as the QB needs to throw him the ball. Boldin's QB is Kaepernick, the starting QB for Agent P. For Breesus to score big off Boldin then Agent P will score big too. Quite the conundrum.

My crystal ball recommends Breesus leave Boldin on the bench and take his chances with Cobb and Garcon. But is that the crystal ball, or my own gut calling the shots?

In the next post I'll cover trading players and the waiver wire.

-D

My crystal ball comes without warranties and any changes made because of its forecast are entirely the decision and responsibility of the head coach.

Drafting madness

The draft has come and gone and with it are mixed emotions. Did I get the right mix? Why is my draft report card being so sarcastic to me when it says:

Laughing in the face of decades of fantasy tradition, Doof's Playinators didn't choose a running back in the first three rounds of the draft.

and

Doof's Playinators will be hoping to defy the experts this season.

Well, we'll see who is laughing when Joique Bell and Shane Vereen run all over Lynch, AP... aah dammit!

Still, compare your wide receiver stocks to me and then lets talk! Eh!

It's good to see the Lighties so up beat about their 90 year old quarterback, seen chilling in Cleveland over the off season:

To view your report card you can head over to the Fantasy site, click on Draft Recap, or follow this link.

For those who are curious, my draft report grade was a C, projected 3-10-1 and a projected finish in 9th spot. I'd say that is a little pessimistic, given my QB and WR stocks. But I admit that my RB stocks are low. I'll correct that through free agency as the season progresses.

I drafted the first three players I wanted, Megatron, Rodgers and Marshall, and am pretty damn pleased with Harvin, Ertz, Wilson and Bennett providing support.