Week 4: Match-ups

Week 4, the first week of team byes and a total pain in the ass for coaches. How to account for Peyton Manning, the Seahawks defence or West and Green being MIA for a week? Planning, people.

Farnsworths (70) v Zim's Doomydooms (96)

Zim unveiled her 2014 strategy last night, replacing her previous Predator and Skekses advisor's with Ron Burgundy. Only time will tell how that will play out, and whether she will be forced to bring in a shark called Doby at some point to rescue her season. Game-wise, Zim has replaced her bye-d players with ring-ins for the week, none bigger than the Charger Defence, who are playing the woeful Jaguars, at home in San Diego (or Whales Vagina as it likes to be called). The Farnsworth's have yet to update their bye'd players and will need to do so to be in with a chance against the rampaging Doom.

Endless (71) v Bradysbrothers (80)

Loads of changes this week for BB who is sporting a solid line-up but risking it all on Tom Brady. We al know that Brady can do wrong and it is all his linesmen's fault he has been scoring poorly this year. So let's all hope that the O-Line can support their football-god this week. Like the Farnsworth's, Endless has yet to correct for the bye, with two active players not active. Endless also needs to replace the TE as Pitta is out for the season with a dislocated hip (OUCH!).

Ponder: is it too late for Bradysbrothers to change their name to Bradyswife? I'm sure that would enliven the blog...

Lighties (60) v Agent P (83)

Refusing the believe that other football-god Peyton Manning is on a bye this week, the Lighties are sticking with their QB. It's possible that even on a bye Manning will score more points than Ryan Tannehill or Blake Bortles, but I wouldn't risk it against that dastardly platypus's Phil Rivers. Rivers has been king dick in Whale Vagina Town and against the flailing Jaguars could provide an extremely stimulating scorecard*. Agent P still needs to add her weekly ring-ins to the side as she is sporting three empty slots.

I wish Agent P well for tomorrow's big Grand Final and hope that the swannies can bring the glory. Go Swans!**.

The General (88) v Vampire Queen (108)

The Vampire Queen is looking to consume as much red as possible this week and claw herself off the bottom of the standings. Major player movements and a fierce, competitive, vampiric nature make her dangerous in these conditions. Her team is fully bye-prepared and ready to bring her all the red she can eat. The General has yet to make all his changes and needs to replace a RB and his Defence. Unless he is exceptionally focussed on the Brown and Gold this week. In which case:

I wish The General well for tomorrow's big Grand Final and hope that the mighty hawks can bring the glory. Go Hawks!**.

Doof (111) v Breesus (91)

Breesus is hoping to stay atop the standings and post a fourth Win this week and Doof is hoping not to descend even further. If memory serves I've never ridden the bottom of the standings, unless someone cares to correct me (don't bother, I don't need the pain to be revisited. And if I ever did ride the bottom I'm sure it would all the Farnsworth's fault: serial Heartbreaker that he is). Breesus, acting all cool and awesome nad boss-like, has yet to replace the Defence, but that arrogance will see seal his fate, Mwuaha.... MHUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

*I blame Zim for enabling this sort of puerile writing
**Equal Opportunity Supporter. As as  Tigers man my interest in the AFL has risen and fallen through the 2014 season, completely ending 3 weeks ago for a game I have no recollection of.