It has come to my attention that sending my entire team to BLORCH after last week's dismal performance may have resulted in a low projection. Apparently, the "projector experts" believe that BLORCH, with its toxic air and slaughtering rat people, tend to cause disease and other co-morbidities (such as Anquon Boldin's state of catatonia the last few weeks - what else would explain his non-performances?).
So I've decided to hedge my bets and have a complete knee jerk over-reaction styled new strategy (as is my
modus operandi). This week, against that pitiful platypus I shall use the Garthim as my offensive linemen! Who would honestly oppose them? Would you? I get that Agent P is a semi-aquatic, egg laying mammal of action - but these are the GARTHIM. They are scary as hell.
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The Garthim will eat delicious Platy-Pie this week, just like any other pod person.
FEAST MY GARTHIM! FEAST!
MUWAAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAHA! |
Oh, and in the interests of disclosure - apparently, radiation sickness due to that stupid love sick Predator
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Can't we just agree that this is getting ridiculous already? Give me back
my Predator, Ingolstadt. Seriously. |
detonating in Denver a couple weeks back has also impacted the Broncho-Def performance last week. Nevertheless, I stand by my Predator-poor-loser-nuke-response strategy. I am also secretly hoping the radiation will make them super-powered mutants, but I understand that can take some time. What I cannot abide, however, is Ingolstadt's hussy Alien, still wooing my Predator. Tame that goddam Alien Ingolstadt, it is getting embarrassing for everyone.
And don't think I don't have alternative escalations and hysterical knee-jerk reaction strategies up my sleeve. There are much more frightening and irrational things than my recruitment scout out there.
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| [Still maniacally cackling from the Garthim announcement] |
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